Beautiful

I woke up by Him telling me that I was so beautiful he would now smile all day.

How irresistible is that?

Nevertheless he is only a man/boy. Yesterday I used a tie to pin him to my bedframe then made myself come whilst giving him a brilliant blowjob. 

Im good. 

Connubiality

I am getting used to having him around every night once again. This autumn, with my room in disarray and a temperature of about 14 degrees, I spent most my time either in his, slightly warmer room, or with him in my bed, as a virtuous radiator. Lately we have both needed more space to breath and deal with university issues, however this is the first night since thursday that I shall be sleeping alone.

Though I was in a tremendous hurry this morning/lunchtime his horniness was enough to convince me that I deserved even more sex. 

With his always very impressive morning hardness he did a good taking me from behind up against a wall. Until my arms started cramping and we needed to move into my cramping bed. He suggested the floor, but I can't really remember the last time the hoover worked. So perhaps not. 

Note to self: clean floor, and maybe desk. Need more space for sexual endeavors.

Achilles' tears

Photo of Him and his best friend, last girl he slept with before me, in bed together with implied nudity. I think what hurt me most was that they seemed so happy, and that I too well know the power of close friends, especially those who have been you a tad too close.

Of course, its an old photo, naturally I am overreacting but as I write insight comes to me. Its the vulnerability. Because this isn't the ex he doesn't speak to, this is his closest female friend. 

Another Femme Fatale. And though his innocent brain may not figure it now I certainly know, he has my weak point. he could hurt me more than anyone. 

I bide my time. Brutality is, it would only be, if I hurt him first. 

Currents

I am filled with love. He is the only one on my mind currently.

And horrendous streaks of jealousy of his ex-girlfriend slowly befriending all my friends. I need an army and I have non.

And then its the stress. The reality that is how much work I have currently

Yet the only thing that clears my head is reading the news, entering debates, there are things more important!

And sailing. wind in my hair, water edge close. Makes me feel, alive.

Marvellous date

Good times

H(t) > O(t)

t = time spent thinking about

H = Him

O = Others

He took me rowing on the river Avon. He brought all my favourite things for picnic. He also cooked me amazing dinner (plus a tad of pre-dinner sex) and then let me be unromantic and we watched xmen 2.

I want to be a superhero, seriously. 

Nevertheless, good times, I felt like a character in a 18th century novel.

Bad timing

He came over. I played good girl and made dinner. He was Very exited about tomorrow (as you might guess by this post I am not quite so).

1 year celebration.

I by principe don't like the idea. Prefer celebrating every day when you really love each other. Because with a deceiving heart like mine you never know when I'll be cold as ice and when I'll melt in your arms. When that happens its worth celebrating. Not only to prove to everyone how good we are as we have survived a year with monogamy. 

My room still smells of sex since this morning - One should do somehting about that. 

If He wouldn't have been so annoyingly cheery this afternoon i probably would have done a repetition of this morning's antics.  

Still my heart hasn't stopped

I could even look at her facebookprofile without anything happening. I just feel, better than her. Don't care if we have 33 mutual friends. When she is back at this university (yes I do do somehting with my life, not only rant about my confused emotional state of being) they will probably prefer me. And if they don't, I won't care.

This is so unexpected. But whilst trying to understand my black widow tendencies, I won over something inside me I thought would eat me whole.

I am going to change my sheets now. They smell of sex. Good sex by the way.