Sunday, 27 July 2008


All I can think of his his hand on my stomach as we slept in my messy apartment. 
His smile when he said "I need to do this" kissed my lips and then "Don't worry, that is me, you have done nothing".

I really don't miss Him

I am a horrible person


You don't wake up one day not loving. You wake up with the realisation, that it has been a while, since you actually loved.

Friday, 25 July 2008

She is still here and as bad as ever

Havn't written for a while. Mostly since life first was very stressful and then filled with drama. Ganging up on eachother and crying over the phone.
i said I would never do lon-distance again and here I am doing it, not so well.
And recently it went form bad to worse.

There is a sex object at my work. Sexobject took care of me when quite drunk I had a major fit about how doomed my relationship was.
He slept in my bed.
I used every single ounce of self-preservation there is to not completely give into my desires.

Cannot remember ever being that turned on. Fact is just his voice makes me, tingle, to avoid obscenities...

Yet a large difference between him and many of the other male varieties that could lead me astray is that sex object is an adult, 5 years my senior (but by that not even near the oldest person that has taken my fancy.. I mena I accidentally went on a date with a man aged 60)
Thus he seemingly waits for me to sort my life out before anything mroe happens.

Stay around because soon I actaully will have to make a decision..