Tuesday, 26 August 2008

Sway kicks back

I went out last night.
Today I had lunch with Midgettrader.
Then I ignored Object
Object kissed me in the elevator
Told me he'll talk to me later and looked like a schoolboy.

I smiled and shrugged.

Went shopping with mother. New makeup and clothes. 
I have not called Object. 

Proud. Sway Fatale rises from the ashes, puts on heels and new lipstick. Ready to wear..

Monday, 25 August 2008

I want to go out and flirt with all the fish in the sea. I want to party and do tequila shots (without ruingin my career). I want champagne to flourish and to dance away the night.
I am after all the capital of extraordinarily hot men.
 And of course, it is an investment for my future to extend my network. 

However, none of my friends seem at all interested. And instead I am wasting my time as youthful single longing for a man who probably doesn't give a fuck about me. And who I probably wouldn't care about if he wasn't so hard to get. 

But I don't know why. I'd like to stay longer. Maybe because I naively hope it will be better. Or because I slowly get to know myself quite well. 


Mother thinks I trying to date Midgettrader would definitely be a small price to pay for the comic value of the meet grandparents scene. 

Sunday, 24 August 2008

The Twisted Banter (Never politically correct)

I suggest to my mother, who thinks I should exploit the fish in the sea, that I should go on a date with midget trader (Trader at my work who flirted with me at office party despite being a head shorter than me).

 So that I can find out if his feet actually touch the ground when he sits at his desk...
And you know he is from a good family and we must have something in common as we spoke for ages at the party (I cannot remember about what though).
I further conclude that it would be excellent making him meet my grandparents on my father's side. My grandmother means well but formulates herself in a hilarious way, if you have been at the hairdresser she will say 
"O but I thought you looked so good before"
 If she finds your new trousers unique its said by a 
"O what strange trousers you are wearing"
And her classic is 
"Is this really the way you are supposed to look nowadays".

I could hear her say to Midgettrader 

"O, is this how short men are nowadays"

My grandfather would continue the distaster with one of his classic anecdotes. And having no sense of appropriate conversations he would probably start telling anyone interested in listening (which tends to be meet-the-family-dates as they do not know it gets quite boring) about the midgets that worked in his parents theater. 

It would be a modern classic. 

Talking to M we really started to find this poor man very very cute. She thinks I should ask him out, just for Banter of course, I have learnt for experience not to date men because they are cute. Partly because I have much respect for Tucker Max, who actually slept with a real little person .

But It doesn't end there. My mother suggests now that I could cover Backoffice and trading. I should up my game, aim for the senior investor that adored me at the party, to later round of with one of the company owners. Its what they call a career ladder. 

I think I'll pass, but I am now a happy girl in a world of opportunities. Even if some of them are 15 cm smaller than average.

Twisted soul

Evidently everyone backed out from last nights party 5 minutes before we were supposed to meet. I was not impressed. But I guess I needed sleep and wasn't too sad.

Today however has been nothing other than n emotional rollercoaster. I spend hours waiting for Object to call. I watch 4 weddings and a funeral. I cry a lot and fear I will never be loved. The Ex (Formerly known as He) calls and informs me that I am the most horrible person in the world. For 45 minutes. 
Since he doesn't want me I suddenly fear life without him. 
Crying continues. 

Mother calls. I cry. Until she gets annoyed with me and tells me how there is more fish in the sea and that I should get a grip. Its not the right time in anyone's life for me to date Object. Evidently as he just wants to sleep with me (she doesn't know I only wanted to sleep with him too from the beginning), but mostly because he is far to middleclass. My mother is not politically correct. This cheers me up.
Considering the Ex, usually she tells me I am a too horrible person for such a nice boy, this time she doesn't. Now she concludes he perhaps was never intelligent enough to match my game and certainly not a good enough debater. 

I didn't know my mother would understand my twisted sense of humor but form having cried over the phone I make her laugh. And she continues the banter. 
See next post.

Saturday, 23 August 2008

Memory Error

I didn't know what to expect form an office party. Boring IT people finding me the perfect person to talk with, drunk people in their 40s on their one night out a year, general embarrassing debauchery. 

Yet no. It turned out a lot better. 

End up opposite a senior investor. Who chose finance because he read American Psycho. I loved him from the first minute. Night goes as planned and networking is amazing. Everyone at the table thinks I am smart funny and attractive. 

The free bar worries me as my plan is to stay quite sober until about 1. But I certainly enjoy myself. At 12 I send an epic text to M "I'm hanging out with a trader, he is almost a midget, hilar" 
Evidently I am now getting more drunk. But I also hang around the bar with a large group of cool traders. Especially the one who is almost a head shorter than me. Brilliant.

Someone from my department starts singing Careoke. I order a double vodka, I squeze a lime into the glass to survive and move to the next level and avoid being embarrassed for other people. 

Midgettrader has many vodka shots in front of him. I get full respect for downing it without any problems (The only thing I learnt at Uni). I get another one. And then I cannot remember much. 

We move onto a nightclub, someone pays my cover, buys me a drink. Think it was Midget Trader. We we're dangerously close to making out. Just for banter from my side. 

Taxi home. Paid for by midget trader after I say no to an after party at his flat. 

Wake up the next morning with 7 missed calls from Object who ended up outside my door but me too fast asleep to hear him knocking. Damn. 

To relieve me of the angst of having had a good time but perhaps ruined my career in some way I cannot remember I borrow 4 books at the library that I probably will never read. Then I walk around the island. Its a mile. 
I'm even more tired now and more drinking starts in 40 minutes. Lets hope I don't meet anyone from yesterday. I am not ready for that yet.

Friday, 22 August 2008

Guilt Makes a Good Lover

Object turned me down Wednesday night. When I finally heard from him late at night he had a perfectly fine explanation but I had a weak time in my life that evening. 
When you have a relationship based on attraction, when he says he might show up later and then doesn't, it means to a weak heart that I am not attractive. 
Suddenly Thursday he changes his plans to that he comes over and I have never heard so many compliments from a man... 
Sex was good but almost broke my uterus. Later on some careful fornication however had better results. Woke him up with a blowjob.  

Slept far too little. Will be a long weekend.

Sunday, 17 August 2008


I don't think I have really slept yet. I continued my horrible streak of absent confidence and called the Object as I left the nightclub at 3.10 AM. He was still out but didn't seem too hate me for calling. 4.20 AM He calls asking for my address as he is getting into a cab and coming over here. 


We have sex for hours. Then we pass out and then we have sex again. Just as we are on our way to go back to sleep he realises its 10am and he was supposed to meet his brother at 9 (some people never learn). Still. Sex is getting good. I love his body and the way he is experienced. 

I love the way he pulls my hair but as I am a fake-blonde with a passion for hairspray I might have to ask him to dominate me in some other way or I will soon be bald. But hmm, small price to pay for being fucked like you are the sexiest girl in the world... 

Saturday, 16 August 2008

Fatale on a low

I want to go out on a manhunt. 
I feel like 17. 

Dinner with the object went well but the sex wasn't very well synked and now he hasn't called me back.

I know its a very non-femme-fatale thing to do to worry when this happens but at the moment I am quite fragile - break-up reality is perhaps hitting me a bit. 
I need to go out party and make out with innocent blond summerboys with slim hips. On a confidence-low and I need so radiance. Object has too much self-control (remember I am used to boys without any control at all) to boost it. 
Something has to be done.

Friday, 15 August 2008

The Ultimate List

I thought I'd give you a flash of truth. I don't mean as in my Sharon Stone impression yesterday though...

However I get asked how many men and women I have slept with and I thought this could provide some interesting reading.

16 men.
No women because when I finally dared to He came into the picture and fidelity was the thing back then. But I have a woman in mind for making number 17..

Here we go
  1. First Boyfriend - Although he was 21 he was ridiculously inexperienced and I spend too much time leaning back thinking of England
  2. X, First adventure - Fling with hot Australian during a family holiday.
  3. The older boyfriend - He was 25 and I was 18, to me he was very experienced and exciting. He was the ideal boyfriend, brilliant career in front of him, musically talented, polite and good-looking. However he was short and far to mature for this wild child.
  4. The skibum. At the time I thought I was really cool. We had sex in a public hottub outdoors in the middle of the night. It was good, but, I now find hot tubs a bit disgusting.
  5. The French-American. This is a brilliant story. I'll tell you about it when I have time. In short I moved onto his family-yacht the day after we met. We had ridiculous amounts of good sex and I took up the habit of smoking after copulation.
  6. Mushroom 1. The only one I ever would have titulated fuckbuddy. I was put-off the idea after this guy. He was 26 I was 19. He looked like 20 though. He quickly got boring (as I started seeing Mushroom 2). He saw my house, suddenly wanted a relationship. Goldigger, I dumped him by pretending I was going to Amsterdam when I was off to Paris. Then I texted him 3 weeks later saying I was staying in Holland.
  7. Mushroom 2. He had a fulltime job, was a fulltime student, and modelled. And he was very nice to me. I was really into him but fucked it up by playing hard to get. He had problems getting hard enough but I guess sex for once wasn't central in a relationship.
  8. Corridor incest #1. He had the smallest penis I have ever seen and he was quite inexperienced. I wasn't that bad but nothing to remember, oh except for that he appearently found me very sexy wearing pyamas shorts and a large band t-shirt, that's cute.
  9. Corridor incest #2. I really liked this boy. But sadly he was nothing more than a boy. Sex was lovely and he made me smile. Then his girlfriend showed up one day and of course he didn't keep his promise and break up with her. I hope she is still unhappy because I serisouly thought their relationship was over and then she turns up in my corridor, claiming back my almost-boyfriend and trying to turn all my friends against me.
  10. The Banker. To heal my broken heart I went to London to attend a party hosted by nr. 3 on this list. Sway meets hot swedish banker who takes her back to his place. Sex is good but he never calls. Then I sulked but now I know that is how life works.
  11. The French Exchange Student. Come on, everyone has slept with a visiting student. Mine was hot, spoke moderate English, was ok in bed (I was jsut very happy to get anything, had been far too long), and left early in the morning. We both promised to call but neither made an effort to exchange numbers. A good one-night-stand.
  12. The footballer. Amazing body. I don't like tattoos but his were just perfection. He was a former UK Premier League Goalkeeper who's career had ended prematurely. Sex on the beach and a lot in the hostel shower.
  13. Mushroom #3. Thought I would die when I found out this boy had the same name as 6 and 7. This however was the perfect one night stand. We actually had sex in his hostel bed. But he was amazingly talented, not experienced I think just a natural. And stunningly beautiful.
  14. The friend. This guy was one of my best friends. We felt more but didn't know what so we started sleeping with eachother. It healed many heartwounds even though he was very inexperienced. If I broke his heart I'm sorry.
  15. He. Sex with him was always amazing. Especially as it was the longest time I have ever spent with anyone, after some time he knew exactly what to do in bed.
  16. The object. I have never been so turned on by anyone in my life. He is very experienced with an amazing body - I think this can develop into a very memorable experience.

Thursday, 14 August 2008

Sway Fatale goes for the Basic Instinct

Keeping busy with exquisite dinners and rapid shopping whilst my mother is in town for business. 
Left tomboy style for while and turned up for work in skirt and heels again. But the heels now a little bit more expensive and the skirt a little bit shorter. Armani and Filippa K had the honour to dress me.

And I sent Object and email asking if he had seen Basic Instinct. He is very cute wehn he is confused. I follow up by telling him to look left and at my legs. 
I cross legs, uncross, and cross them again. 

Its all one foreplay. Tomorrow he is coming over for dinner and I am the dessert. And possibly the starter. 

Sunday, 10 August 2008

Hell on High Heels

Object tells me he wants girls that take what they want in the bedroom. 
Trust me babe, I will. I honestly like to be submissive. Except for seduction. 
I enjoy mesmerizing someone.

I think I'll take my 12 cm heels out and show him a little bit more of what I have got..

Saturday, 9 August 2008


Hosted a brilliant dinner party last night, turned into "party like its 1988". Someone even made hotshots?!?!?!


Yet more importantly. The object stayed the night. 

His body should be eaten with a spoon. And it seems physical exercise perhaps improves sexual performance. He managed to perform 4 times in the night. With someone you have not slept with before. Unbelievable. 

There definately have been too many boys frequenting my life during the last 2 years. Men are so the new black..

It might be a keeper.

Thursday, 7 August 2008

Where the action is

I have promised Him he will be my lover when we are back at university. The scene there is appalling - everyone hot is either taken or a too good friend for it to be a good idea (friendship incest sucks). We shall see. Good sex would then be easy at hand. 

But nevermind. The horrible Sway has already moved on. Soon Sexobject will be on a plane heading here. 

I have bought a new set of black underwear. Losing weight has turned my Dcup to a Ccup. They used to be nice and full. Now they look like the breasts of a 15 yearold. Seriously they look like they are under development? 
I don't understand my body.

All I know is that it really wants sex with the object.

Sunday, 3 August 2008

Up to date..

8.50. Sway is already unbelievably horny and sends Object indecent emails
14.05. Sway and Him breaks up
17.50. Sway pushes object up against the wall in the elevator leaving work and makes out. 

Unfortunately we only work at the 4th floor..

Since then. Very indecent emails. 
Confusion leading to me rejecting nocturnal invites due to a vague feeling I have enough guilt in my body already.

Friday. He arrives in the country, I go to my parents house on the westcoast where I am going to spend my 1 week vacation and he joins me. . Its bi-polar. Tears. Then laughter. Then cuddle. Little sex (although clearly not a s good as it used to be..). Confusion. 

I tell him final decision will be made on Wednesday. But to me its clear.

I am a very horrible person. He will only be my friend. 

Object's parents live in the area. He comes to visit them on Friday. O yes. Now I have no doubts, He shall be my new lover.