Success

Hosted a brilliant dinner party last night, turned into "party like its 1988". Someone even made hotshots?!?!?!

Brilliant.

Yet more importantly. The object stayed the night. 

His body should be eaten with a spoon. And it seems physical exercise perhaps improves sexual performance. He managed to perform 4 times in the night. With someone you have not slept with before. Unbelievable. 

There definately have been too many boys frequenting my life during the last 2 years. Men are so the new black..

It might be a keeper.

Where the action is

I have promised Him he will be my lover when we are back at university. The scene there is appalling - everyone hot is either taken or a too good friend for it to be a good idea (friendship incest sucks). We shall see. Good sex would then be easy at hand. 

But nevermind. The horrible Sway has already moved on. Soon Sexobject will be on a plane heading here. 

I have bought a new set of black underwear. Losing weight has turned my Dcup to a Ccup. They used to be nice and full. Now they look like the breasts of a 15 yearold. Seriously they look like they are under development? 

I don't understand my body.

All I know is that it really wants sex with the object.

Up to date..

Tuesday

8.50. Sway is already unbelievably horny and sends Object indecent emails

14.05. Sway and Him breaks up

17.50. Sway pushes object up against the wall in the elevator leaving work and makes out. 

Unfortunately we only work at the 4th floor..

Since then. Very indecent emails. 

Confusion leading to me rejecting nocturnal invites due to a vague feeling I have enough guilt in my body already.

Friday. He arrives in the country, I go to my parents house on the westcoast where I am going to spend my 1 week vacation and he joins me. . Its bi-polar. Tears. Then laughter. Then cuddle. Little sex (although clearly not a s good as it used to be..). Confusion. 

I tell him final decision will be made on Wednesday. But to me its clear.

I am a very horrible person. He will only be my friend. 

Object's parents live in the area. He comes to visit them on Friday. O yes. Now I have no doubts, He shall be my new lover. 

Evidently

All I can think of his his hand on my stomach as we slept in my messy apartment. 

His smile when he said "I need to do this" kissed my lips and then "Don't worry, that is me, you have done nothing".

I really don't miss Him

I am a horrible person

Limbo

You don't wake up one day not loving. You wake up with the realisation, that it has been a while, since you actually loved.

She is still here and as bad as ever

Havn't written for a while. Mostly since life first was very stressful and then filled with drama. Ganging up on eachother and crying over the phone.
i said I would never do lon-distance again and here I am doing it, not so well.
And recently it went form bad to worse.

There is a sex object at my work. Sexobject took care of me when quite drunk I had a major fit about how doomed my relationship was.
He slept in my bed.
I used every single ounce of self-preservation there is to not completely give into my desires.

Cannot remember ever being that turned on. Fact is just his voice makes me, tingle, to avoid obscenities...

Yet a large difference between him and many of the other male varieties that could lead me astray is that sex object is an adult, 5 years my senior (but by that not even near the oldest person that has taken my fancy.. I mena I accidentally went on a date with a man aged 60)
Thus he seemingly waits for me to sort my life out before anything mroe happens.

Stay around because soon I actaully will have to make a decision..

2 Worlds

We had sex twice yesterday. I hadn't seen Him for a few days and I had been filled with such feelings of loneliness, and horniness.

2.15 pm. IloveyouIloveyouIloveyousomuch and as he is huge and hard inside me tears roll down my cheeks. I whisper how much I love him and I cry. Mmm and then we speed up and as he trusts he bites my nipples hard. Surprisingly much satisfaction and it soon makes me come for a long long time.

8.00 pm. I love having my sexdrive back properly and after the emotional experience earlier it was time for something more hardcore. I find a secret selection of porn in his computer and I make him watch it with me. He comes in my mouth and then his fingers makes me come three times.

Two worlds apart are those two experiences. But one of the reasons life with Him is brilliant is that his libido is even larger than mine, and he never fails to perform exquisitly wether its romantic or blindfolded and handcuffed.